Saturday, November 15, 2008

Just wondering...

If semi means almost or less than, why is a semi-truck bigger than a regular truck?

Why do feet smell while noses run?

Can people who are unable to swim be in the gene pool?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Ya'know how airplanes have Black Boxes in them in case the plane crashes? Why is this "Black Box" painted orange?

If corn oil is made from corn, and coconut oil is made from coconuts, what's baby oil made of?

Why are there coaches in NASCAR? To remind them to turn left???

And finally: WHY DO THEY STERILIZE THE NEEDLE THAT THEY USE FOR LETHAL INJECTION??????

-- Ferdinand

Thursday, November 13, 2008

BIGGEST lies in America

To Teachers- My Dog ate it

To potential soul mates- I'm twenty-one, have an athletic body, and am a funny, smart, kind person.

To dentists- I floss.

To Cops (as well as on COPS)- Those arent my drugs!

To Club owners- I'm over eighteen.

To bartenders- I'm over 21

And Finally, the biggest lie in America today: Oh, I'm sorry, that was my last piece of gum.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Some Advice to Obama

So you might think with the title of this post, that I am advising President-Elect Obama on one of the many issues out there. Well, you would be wrong. In his acceptance speech, Obama promises his daughters a puppy when they move into the White House. Due to his Daughter's allergies, he wants a hypoallergenic dog.

The Huffington Post has done numerous on this issue (and the first link I put in? What a weird dog!). Which is why I think the White House need this dog.

Sure he's repulsive, but I mean you have to show America you are ready for the job, and what shows that like an ugly dog? Don't like him? Try this little guy!



What says "I will serve this country well" like a dog sticking his tongue out at the people who don't likie America? Or, is that secret service not doing its job well? consider one of the many "Monkeys With Guns" options.

That will show any person up to no good that, well, its a monkey with a gun and if it figured out how to hold it that way, Im figuring he found out how to shoot it!


~~Oscar




Monday, November 10, 2008

Google: What Will They Do With The Power?

So recently, Google released an Internet browser called Google Chrome. Even more recently, they released a platform for cellphones called Android. This was just phase one of Google's devious plan to rule the world. Which is why I am releasing

Google's Plan to World Domination.

Phase 2: Launch a line of luxury cars called GooCars in North America and Asia. Phase 3: With the money made off GooCars, corrupt the world leaders and take over 3rd world countries.

Phase 4: Enjoy the power over the 3rd world countries, and go power hungry for more.
Phase 5: Launch GooCars in Australia, and use money made to buy Iceland. Begin selling their geothermal energy to the energy deprived world.

Phase 6: Cackly maniacally to oneself as seen here.


Phase 7: Corrupt more world leaders and rule the world.

Thus ends part one of this extensive study, tune in next time to find out another uncovered story.
p.s. Google? This is a joke. Please don't sue me for everything I own because it would be depressing to find out how much that really is.